11.4.17

roots


Dear lovely readers -- You may (or may not) have noticed that there has been a pause on my blog.  Things have been difficult around here and it's not easy for me to explain the whys and wherefores.  Please know that things with my children & husband are fine.  For all intents and purposes, I am fine... but in truth, things are not okay. There are occurrences right now in my life which, in some ways and some moments, leave me feeling paralyzed with grief.  I am not ready to disclose anything further, but please know that, when I am able, I will share what I can.

When my first son was three months old, I explained to a very wise friend how difficult it was for me to put all my work and creative projects aside to care for this one small person.  As much as I loved my little son, I was intensely frustrated by not being able to progress creatively.  My wonderfully wise friend explained that it might be helpful if I imagined my creativity as a flower bulb, planted underground in wintertime.  The bulb is hidden where no one can see it, and yet it is there, putting out roots (which no one can see).  These roots create a vast network to draw in nourishment for the bulb, and when the proper time arrives, the bulb will produce flowers.  It's difficult to be patient while the bulb lies hidden underground putting out roots, because none of this is visible.  But if one has patience and faith, the blossoms will appear.

So, I am trying to be patient with myself.  And patient with things over which I have no control.  And patient with life as it unspools and unfolds.

Meanwhile, on days I've been able to focus, I've picked away (in a rather desultory fashion) at some new blog posts. You will hopefully see them here over the next week or two.
xo
mb

15 comments:

  1. Peace to you as you navigate these stormy seas . . . and many prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love the metaphor of the bulb. It's truly beautiful. That underground growth is what's happening as time heals, as we wait for winter to pass. Even when you are just barely getting through a tough day, you are stronger than you think.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Be patient, take good care of yourself. Your bulb is preparing for a new bud to bloom and we will wait to celebrate with you. You have many caring friends who are sending our faith in you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts Amma ❤️

      Delete
  5. know that many of us are thinking of you as we think of and care for one another... as women, as mothers, perhaps as kindred spirits who can and do create a force that overcomes the valleys and makes the walk to the peaks easier, too. hugs from the Baltic sea. katja

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Katja -- It's comforting to me to know that a kindred spirit is reaching across the globe to me. The world is such a big place, and yet so small... Thank you and xo

      Delete
  6. I have noticed your absence. Those little dolls ever bring a smile. Life can certainly challenge us in so many ways. Challenges you can figure and work through are one thing. Challenges that you just have to watch, helpless, as they unfold the way they will, oh my. I'm sorry you are having to face such days. Peace like a river, love like the ocean.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Gramerly -- Thank you for the reminder of some of my favorite words. I love the version of this sung by Elizabeth Mitchell (have you ever listened to her album You are my Little Bird?). I will now be humming all day ❤️

      Delete
    2. Yes, I have, so lovely, though I sang it long before that. My daughter's little three year old foster child sings it, from Elizabeth's CD as loud and as often as she can, and I pray, in that little jumbled life of hers that she will find it. You too.

      Delete
    3. I hope so, too, for your daughter's little foster child. And thank you again, dear Gramerly, for your kind wishes...

      Delete
  7. My Dear Girl be kind to yourself. All will blossom and bloom with time and space. Give that space and time will care for the rest. Keep the doors, like the heart, open. Be soothed and be at peace. Clare with love always

    ReplyDelete

I know that word-verification makes it difficult to comment, and that, due to moderation, your comments seem to vanish into thin air once you've hit "submit," but your comments will appear after approval (really!) I read every comment and love hearing from you (truly!)