12.2.11

Someone Ate the Baby


Someone ate the baby.
 It's rather sad to say.
 Someone ate the baby
 So she won't be out to play.
 We'll never hear her whiney cry
 Or have to feel if she is dry.
 We'll never hear her asking "Why?"
 Someone ate the baby.

 Someone ate the baby.
 It's absolutely clear
 Someone ate the baby
 'Cause the baby isn't here.
 We'll give away her toys and clothes.
 We'll never have to wipe her nose.
 Dad says, "That's the way it goes."
 Someone ate the baby.

 Someone ate the baby.
 What a frightful thing to eat!
 Someone ate the baby
 Though she wasn't very sweet.
 It was a heartless thing to do.
 The policemen haven't got a clue.
 I simply can't imagine who
 Would go and (burp) eat the baby.
(Shel Silverstein from Where the Sidewalk Ends)

To cap off my undergraduate work at university, I wrote a senior thesis. My topic? Images of mothers consuming their children in the poetry of Sylvia Plath and other modern women poets. Really... you might think I'm joking, but truly, I'm not! Anyhow, undergraduate pretentiousness aside... Even after writing this grand & erudite (snigger, snigger) thesis, I had no inkling of what would drive a person to nibble on the tiny, tender tips of a baby's fingers until I had my first son. I suddenly understood why my own mother gave me endless love-bites when I was small. And now, as the mother of a little one, who, in the past week alone, has been alternately pronounced, "tasty," "delicious" and "delectable," I am in the throes of it all once again.

Except that he's grumpy and teething these days (and night times, too.) This leaves me grumpy and slightly irritable during the day, looking for creative ways to shake us both out of our funk. Today's method? Bouncing around the house with the baby cackling with laughter in my arms to some new song lyrics I created just for my plump & "tasty" boy.  Join me, if you will, in singing these rollicking lyrics to the tune of "What Shall We do With a Drunken Sailor..."

(Chorus)
What shall we do with a chubby baby?
What shall we do with a chubby baby?
What shall we do with a chubby baby
Early in the morning?

Spread him on toast with a bit of butter,
Spread him on toast with a bit of butter,
Spread him on toast with a bit of butter
Early in the morning...

(Chorus)

Tuck him in a bun with ketchup & a pickle,
Tuck him in a bun with ketchup & a pickle,
Tuck him in a bun with ketchup & a pickle,
Early in the morning...

(Chorus)

Braise him in wine with sauteed mushrooms,
Braise him in wine with sauteed mushrooms,
Braise him in wine with sauteed mushrooms
Early in the morning...

(Chorus)

Roast him in a pot with red potatoes,
Roast him in a pot with red potatoes,
Roast him in a pot with red potatoes,
Early in the morning...

(Chorus)

Spread him with frosting and add some sprinkles,
Spread him with frosting and add some sprinkles,
Spread him with frosting and add some sprinkles
Early in the morning...

(Chorus)

Top him with cherries and serve him with ice cream,
Top him with cherries and serve him with ice cream,
Top him with cherries and serve him with ice cream
Early in the morning...

* * *

Do you have any additional verses (or recipes) you'd like to add?!

6 comments:

  1. Babies are pretty scrumptious!
    xo maureen

    ps...lovin' those little spring fairies at the top!!!

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  2. Slow roast him in duck fat and then crisp up his skin!(I got distracted I was coming to print off your valentine's biscuit recipe) OOh did you smother him in jam yet?

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  3. Oh, yes, apricot jam, but just his toes & fingers. Tomorrow we'll be covering him in buttercream frosting & adding those aforementioned sprinkles!)

    xo
    MB

    P.S. Mmmmm, duck fat! Almost as tasty as baby chub!

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  4. oh look at those thighs!! who wouldn't want to munch them. i have told my littles i want to eat them up so much my son is quite defensive about it. *i'm a person!* he shouts at me. ;)

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  5. Oh this made me and my hubble laugh so hard. I LOVE your little song (and Shel Silverstein - The Giving Tree is my favourite story of my daughters) particularly tucking him in a bun with ketchup and a pickle. I would like to add smear in peanut butter and dip him chocolate... I'd certainly like to do this to my chubby thighed wee man. Nom Nom Nom

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  6. Ooh, yes, dip him in chocolate and peanut butter... that's a good recipe for a tasty baby!

    xo
    P.

    ReplyDelete